Down but not out yet....

So here it is folks the raw and honest way I feel right now...  I feel like a complete loser and that is the honest truth...    I started my weight loss journey back in January 2012 and did super awesome that year and lost 70 pounds yep you heard me right 70 pounds but since than I haven't made any process...  I haven't made any process for several reasons I believe and here they are:

1. I looked at the big picture of how much I have to lose and got discouraged about how much I still had to lose..

2. I got lazy about what I ate and my exercise..

3. I honestly lost my motivation too..

4. Also at some point I hit a plateau and than the other 3 came into play...
 

So here is the raw part of this...  I don't like to look at myself in the mirror without thinking what a loser I really am...  That is the raw and not so nice true about it...  I look at myself and just think yuck...   I used to go to Weight Watchers every week and I can't tell you the last time I stepped foot into a meeting... Also I would go to Curves at least three times and week so long since I have been there too...  This is not where I saw myself when I started this journey in 2012 by this time I saw myself at my goal weight and well the truth is I am no where near my goal weight at all...  I have honestly thought about totally giving up and just saying I don't even care anymore...  I honestly haven't decided if I will step away from WW and go it on my own or not...  Maybe that is what I need to just do it myself...
 I find myself eating late at night, eating more than I should, snacking all the time, not drinking the water that I know know my body needs...   Honestly I know what I need to do I just have to do it...  So here we are almost to Nov. 2016 and I want to lose more weight before 2017 gets here...
I know that I worry all the time about everything and everyone in my life...  So times my emotions get the better of me and I find myself crying out to God...  When I started this journey I prayed about it all the time but I honestly haven't prayed about it in a long long time....  I need to bring it and lay it at the cross...


So here we are almost to Nov. 2016 and I want to lose more weight before 2017 gets here...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-JBbdJ5eZ8